Articles
Three Pillars of Parental Responsibility
Three Pillars of Parental Responsibility
“Now this is the commandment, and these are the statutes and judgments which the Lord your God has commanded to teach you, that you may observe them in the land which you are crossing over to possess, that you may fear the Lord your God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments which I command you, you and your son and your grandson, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged. Therefore hear, O Israel, and be careful to observe it, that it may be well with you, and that you may multiply greatly as the Lord God of your fathers has promised you – ‘a land flowing with milk and honey’” (Deut 6:1-3). The command to observe the Lord’s commandments came with a promise of blessing for those who would obey. God wanted to bless not just that generation but the generations to follow. But receiving God’s blessing required deliberate and continued efforts on the part of Israel. In the remainder of chapter three, Moses urges Israel to be true to three parental responsibilities.
First, parents themselves were commanded to keep God’s word themselves. They needed to know the Word and to do it. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.” (v.5-6). Parents neither then nor now could expect their children or grandchildren to know the Lord and His word if they themselves did not write His words in their own hearts and personally live by it. Children have no nearer nor more powerful example than father and mother. Children need to see their parents who are Christians living what they profess to believe. Parents need to show their children what love of God, love of others, commitment to the Lord, submission to His authority, and love of truth looks like.
Second, parents were commanded to teach the Lord’s statues and His commandments diligently to their children. “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up” (v.7). Primary responsibility to teach the word of the Lord rests with parents and not with the church nor with schools. The responsibility can neither be sold nor transferred. Parents cannot expect children to just pick it up on their own – come to know the Lord and truth without being taught. Fathers are to be the leaders in the family to “bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Eph 6:4). Diligence in teaching is characterized by steady, earnest, and energetic effort. Teaching is needed both in times specifically dedicated to the purpose as well as times that are unplanned or spontaneous. This cannot be done except parents write the law in their own hearts and are spiritual themselves.
Third, parents were commanded to be ready to answer their children’s questions about the Lord and His commands. “When your son asks you in time to come, saying, ‘What is the meaning of the testimonies, the statutes, and the judgments which the Lord our God has commanded you?’ then you shall say to your son: ‘We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, and the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand….” (v.20-25). These are conversations that include telling and explaining. Parents want their children to understand why the Lord’s way is right, why it is good, and why it is important, and questions from children are a unique opportunity to make very practical applications.
Joshua showed a commitment to follow Moses’ instruction when he proclaimed, “But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Josh 24:15). The rest of Israel said they would also (Josh 24:21). But in the days of the judges, another generation arose after Joshua’s “who did not know the Lord nor the work which he had done for Israel” (Jdg 2:10). Someone(s) failed.
Here then are three pillars of godly parenting that Christians would do well to follow – keep the commandments yourself, teach them to your children, and be prepared to answer your children’s questions about the Lord and His ways. Parents have many responsibilities, but these are foundational to raising God-fearing children.
